Jesus the Light 14: Christian Home
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives and be gentle with them. Children, obey your parents in all things. Colossians 3:18-20
Purity of heart and body is to be in the life of every follower of the true God: 1 Cor.6:13: “Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body.”
A man must not touch or look at a woman’s body in any way that might arouse unholy desires for sexual relations [1 Cor.7:1].
The Lord Jesus said: Mt.5:28: “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
1 Thess.4:3-5: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the nations who do not know God.”
Immorality brings harsh results. Heb.13:4: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Choosing a marriage partner is not a matter of wanting to have sexual activity with another person. Sex is only proper between a man and his own wife after marriage.
The most important reason for choosing a person for marriage is that he/she is a genuine believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. No other person should ever be considered for marriage by a Christian.
2 Cor.6:14,15: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness…or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?”
Deut.7:3,4: “Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughters to their sons, nor take their daughters for your sons. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly.”
The person chosen to marry must be a godly obedient follower of the Lord Jesus. 2 Thess.3:14,15 tells us: “If some people do not obey what we tell you in this letter, have nothing to do with them so that they will feel ashamed.”
Prov.31:30: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty disappears, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Prov.12:4: “A good wife is like a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones.”
So, careful consideration is to be taken in this life-long decision before any proposal is made. Prov.19:2,3: “He who hurries his footsteps, sins. People’s own foolishness ruins their lives, but in their minds they blame the Lord.”
Do not rely on prophets, dreams, or impulsive desires. These are useless ways to make this most important decision of human life. God never says that a pastor or even the person himself must receive a vision from God before you can marry.
Rather, seek the Lord patiently in prayer. Prov.3:5,6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and He will show you the right way.”
Lam.3:25-27: “The Lord is good to everyone who trusts in Him, so it is best for us to wait in patience – to wait for Him to save us – and it is best to learn this patience in our youth.”
As children seeking to do the will of God, parents’ approval and blessing must be obtained long before marriage plans are made. Eph.6:2,3: “Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment that has a promise with it – then everything will be well with you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
Prov.15:20: “A wise son makes his father happy, but a foolish son disrespects his mother.” In some tribes, the parents even choose husbands or wives for their children. Some of the marriages in the Bible were done in this way.
Abraham sent his servant to find a bride for his son, Isaac. He said in Gen.24:3,4: “Don’t get a wife for my son from the Canaanite girls who live around here. Instead, go back to my country, to the land of my relatives, and get a wife for my son Isaac.”
After discussion, her father and senior brother said, “Rebekah is yours. Take her and go. Let her marry your master’s son as the Lord has commanded” -Gen.24:51.
They then asked the girl if she was willing to be Isaac’s wife as they had arranged for her. Gen.24:57,58: “Rebekah’s brother and mother said, ‘We will call Rebekah and ask her what she wants to do.’ They called her and asked her, ‘Do you want to go with this man now?’ She said, ‘Yes, I do.’”
They traveled back to Abraham’s land. Gen.24:67: “Then Isaac brought Rebekah into the tent and she became his wife. Isaac loved her very much.” So, whether parents actually choose a husband or wife for their children, or if the children themselves choose a marriage partner, the parents’ blessing is to be had on the proposed union.
When Are People Married? Two things make a marriage according to the Word of God: [1] A culturally recognized ceremony which tells everyone that this man and woman are now husband and wife [2] The sexual union of the husband and wife after the ceremony.
This is seen from the very first marriage at the time of creation. Gen.2:22-24: “The Lord God brought the woman to the man. And the man said, ‘This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.”
There is no single ceremony that God has given to all peoples in all places. The customs and ceremonies in your village may differ from others. Yours may be similar to Isaac’s marriage described before, or it may be like that of Boaz and Ruth’s, a public testimony before witnesses.
Ruth 4:9-13: “Then Boaz said to the elders and to all the people, ‘You are witnesses today. I am taking Ruth as my wife.’ So all the people and elders said, ‘We are witnesses.’ So Boaz took Ruth home as his wife and had sexual relations with her.”
Though the ceremonies may vary from tribe to tribe, each one makes it clear to everyone that this man and woman are now husband and wife. Each custom shows that they now have the exclusive right of sexual relations with each other and no one else.
However, Christians should not and must not include traditional practices in their ceremonies that are against the Word of God. No traditional idolatrous elements should be allowed or practiced.
These are the things that make a man and woman to be married according to the Bible. Having a marriage ceremony in a church building is one way to become married, but it is not the only way that is accepted by God. Getting married in the court registry is also a valid marriage.
It is not necessary to do both a traditional ceremony followed by a church “white” wedding. No weddings in the Bible were ever performed in a church building by a pastor or reverend. It is acceptable that way, but it is not required for God to recognize your marriage. Copyright Steve Phillips 2020