Narrow Way with Steve Phillips One is Two
One is Two. It sounds funny, yet is profoundly true. Though one, husband and wife both have their distinct and respective roles. The world clamors for equality without distinction. God says One is Two.
Man is the lover, leader, and laborer. His role is to lead by love. Example and truth are his tools to accomplish this task. Humble serving and speaking the truth in love are Christ-like leadership.
Brute force and domineering tyranny are all that sinful men of the world have to lead with. They shout and herd and beat their women as if they were goats and donkeys. But it is not so with the Christian.
“Husbands love your wives and be gentle: do not be harsh and bitter against them” –Colossians 3:19. That is how the godly Christian man is to lead: by love, not by arrogant might.
Man is the laborer. God placed Adam in the garden to “cultivate, work, and guard it” –Genesis 2:15. He works to supply the needs of the home. That is his responsibility, not hers [1 Timothy 5:8].
Man is the lover, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. And Christ loves and gives Himself without interruption until eternity’s everlasting day. Husbands are to love in this same way.
Though the husband is the head of the wife, man is not king over women. Erase that from your mind. Ruling over a wife is not the expression of godliness in a Christian marriage. Hear God’s Word:
“You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” –Genesis 3:16. It was judgment upon waywardness, not the pattern of godliness. Eve had abandoned her proper sphere and role.
She acted independently from her husband by taking the forbidden fruit. She took the initiative, became the leader, and expected him to follow her path. Roles were reversed and sin entered the world.
Since then throughout the cultures of the world, women have been subjugated, abused, beaten, and despised by harsh and cruel men. Only Christ and His teaching has elevated women from that misery.
The standard for the Christian man with his wife is that of Christ Himself in relation to His church. Love, devotion, self-sacrifice, and tender care are the Christian husband’s new norm, for that is what Christ does. It is only the NT that has raised her to the status of a fellow-heir of the grace of life.
But to batter and belittle is nothing more than wickedness. Do you think this shows that you are a man of strength? You are deluded: true manliness is shown in self-control, not in anger and assault.
Christ does none of those things with His church. He doesn’t rage and rant, strike and slander, or beat and batter. He doesn’t. You cannot be like Christ if you do. Your testimony is ruined and scattered.
If you cannot learn to deny self even in your own home with the cherished wife of your bosom, you cannot deny self anywhere: for the home is where we live and express our Christianity on a daily basis.
If you cannot live as a Christian there, repentance is what you need, love is what you lack, and seeking forgiveness from wife and children must be sought: that is, if you truly wish to be Christian.
The basic roles of the One who is Two are these: What he obtains by his labor outside, she prepares inside. What he secures, she distributes. What is brought to the home in its raw state, she transforms to useful blessing for the good of all. The home is her most significant sphere of God-given influence and dominion: a division of labor and roles. One is Two.
“Man goes forth to his work and to his labor until evening” –Psalm 104:23. “Encourage the young women to be workers at home, raise children, and manage a household” –Titus 2:4,5; 1 Timothy 5:14.
She is a helper [Genesis 2:18]. Helpers, by definition, are not initiators nor take the prominent role. They are not the leaders, but support. Helpers rarely appear in the public eye.
He leads and directs, she responds. He has prominence, she, retirement. The man influences his world, the woman, her home. She was designed for this. And for this, godly self-denial is required.
But this is not the extent of her help. Beyond attending to the daily needs of husband and home, she is to contribute to the decisions and direction of the home, because the man needs help in this way also.
Her perspective is of great value and should not be ignored or considered as of little worth. She contributes insight that the man may be unaware of. She senses things that he may lightly pass over. Men, listen well to your God-given helper, for God created her for this purpose!
And after she has contributed her input, she is content to trust God with her husband’s final decision. And she helps him as she would herself, even if a wrong decision is made that resulted in difficulty for them both. Any sensible man will appreciate her perspective and contribution when One is Two.